Company Name - Company Message

Recent Posts

The Sixteen Keys to OCD Recovery
Mastering Ocd: The Five Principles & Five Keys
OCD- Self Care Tips
Points Of Attachment
powered by

My Blog

Points Of Attachment

Note:  This article first appeared the day after the Sandy Hook school shootings.  It is as true today as it was then – except for one small thing.  One of those “disenfranchised” kids I mention below is no longer with us.  He killed himself – with a gun.
A short time ago almost two dozen of our children were shot to death at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT. The news that day found me at work where, suddenly, the insipid Christmas music droning in the background seemed an intolerable mockery. I excused myself and, through tears, stumbled out into the cold December sunshine. Outside, cars rushed by honking and jostling for position - each with their own agenda - and everyone else be damned.
We know from statistics that violence is actually reducing over time. There are fewer wars and the wars we are having claim less lives. What is on the increase is a type of disaffected violence - desperate acts by lost and outlying men and women. These are twisted and distorted creatures that were once just like us. They have had the misfortune, or wrong turns, that have led to a profound estrangement from all connection - to themselves, their fellows, and their community. They have drifted so far from the flock that even acts of massive insanity, to them seem sane. 
I learned this lesson early in my work as a psychologist in a maximum security prison. This type of explosive violence does not happen when there is connection. In connection with our families and friends there will still be pain and suffering in life, but the fabric of those relationships keeps us from spinning wildly out of control.
I learned this lesson in a different way during the years I worked on Search & Rescue crews in the southwest American dessert.  When climbing or rappelling into a rescue situation the safety of the rescuer is in large part determined by their “points of attachment”.  The more we are “connected” the rope, a tree, rocks, the safer we will be.  One hand is precarious, two is better.  Two hands and a foot is great.  Two hands and two feet and your golden!  Connection = Safety!
I learned the lesson again in a different way each time I would pick up my son his High School and see a student who I know to be "different" and disenfranchised – trying to look inconspicuous in their goth clothing and hoodie - and I do nothing other than say hello. I know from my experience and training that right in front of me is potential Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris, or Adam Lanza. Yet, I usually do not go to stand next to them, or try to break into their solitary, tortured world and try and make a connection. What holds me back?  What holds you back? Fear I guess, and in giving in to that fear we fail the children of Sandy Hook. Every little act we can do as individuals to build social connection and return outliers to the fold is a step away from the next mass shooting.
I'm sure there are many places we can build connection - you may be thinking of some already and that's great. In my research on solutions to violence I have found the most powerful and ever-present venue for connection is right in front us - our cars! For all their dangers and carbon footprints cars afford us a daily opportunity to practice goodwill to ourselves and our neighbors. By changing how we interact with ourselves and those around us while we drive we can make tremendous strides in building connection. I talk about these specific techniques in the book "Driving Ourselves Sane", but you don't need a book to figure it out. Sit down with a piece of paper and write out five things you can do while driving that will strengthen a loving connection to yourself and five ways you can contribute to the supportive connection between yourself and other drivers. It won't take long and you'll be surprised what you find. As we change our attitude while driving from competition and aggression to one of caring and connection we slowly change our attitude about life and we send threads of connection out into our environment.  Everything we do inside or outside the car is a step toward or away from increasing connection.
As the weeks after Sandy Hook unfold gun control, the role of the media, and our nation’s broken mental health system will all be discussed and questions will be raised - again.  What we do know for sure is that every time Adam Lanza was ignored or disenfranchised by those who knew him (a perfectly natural reaction to someone who seems "strange" - especially in High School) the further he drifted into his own twisted world. In spite of how uncomfortable it might be, we need to do our best to reach out to others even if they seem different.

The children of Sandy Hook needed a world that was more connected. It’s too late for them now.  The responsibility is ours to prevent the next incident. This is our community dammit and I for one don't want the Christmas music back just now. I don't want illusions of Dickensonian togetherness. I want - no I need a connected society. It's the real Christmas gift, the real New Year’s resolution we can give ourselves and each other. Only we can stop the next Sandy Hook.  The next time you drive, drive with love and connection.  The next time you see a disconnected and lost individual take some action to bring them back into the fold.

41 Comments to Points Of Attachment:

Comments RSS prices on Tuesday, August 14, 2018 1:27 AM
There must be proper precautions for the OCD patients. Otherwise, the small negligence results to cause the disastrous results, I really appreciate this article talking on this important topic. We should create awareness among people to take precautions for it.
Reply to comment

Cheap Audemars Piguet Watches on Monday, December 24, 2018 12:08 PM
Really I Appreciate The Effort You Made To Share The Knowledge.
Reply to comment

write an assignment for me on Saturday, February 9, 2019 4:36 AM
The post is really superb. It’s varied accessory information that consists during a basic and necessary method. Thanks for sharing this text. The substance is genuinely composed. This web log is frequently sharing useful actualities. Keep sharing a lot of posts.
Reply to comment

write a dissertation for me< on Saturday, February 9, 2019 4:36 AM
Great post. Articles that have meaningful and insightful comments are more enjoyable, at least to me. It’s interesting to read what other people thought and how it relates to them as their perspective could possibly help you in the future.
Reply to comment

Skycap Loans on Wednesday, March 13, 2019 1:33 AM
Founded in 2013 and based in Kingston, Ontario, Skycap Loans strives to offer a better lending experience, through a fast and easy loan application process.
Reply to comment

orologi r on Saturday, March 30, 2019 9:55 AM
The carpet is used in every home and it added four stars in the beauty of a home.
Reply to comment

This gives many users a sleepless night because they can't book a monthly or three month golden order and play offline games.
Reply to comment

movies jackets on Friday, May 10, 2019 5:41 AM
The post is really superb. It’s varied accessory information that consists during a basic and necessary method. Thanks for sharing this text. The substance is genuinely composed. This web log is frequently sharing useful actualities. Keep sharing a lot of posts.
Reply to comment

instagram viewer on Sunday, June 30, 2019 9:32 PM
Thanks for a very interesting blog. What else may I get that kind of info written in such a perfect approach? I’ve a undertaking that I am simply now operating on, and I have been at the look out for such info.
Reply to comment

Dragon city hacks ideas on Tuesday, July 16, 2019 11:40 PM
Click here now to get alot of gems without spent anything.
Reply to comment

best dissertation service on Saturday, August 3, 2019 6:11 AM
Is your Canon Printer Offline? Dial Canon printer offline toll-free number to fix your issue instantly. We would immediately respond to your queries and provides the best solutions to your problems.
Reply to comment

research paper writing service on Friday, August 9, 2019 9:47 PM
This kind of news is indeed really devastating. I feel sorry for the people who were involved in this tragedy because I know how hard it is to lose someone who is important to you. I do have this kind of experience before and I must say that what I felt during that time is something that I don't want to feel again. However, despite of what had happened, I have to say that I did learn a lot from it. My family and I have also became stronger and the relationship that we had become deeper.
Reply to comment

Kevin Steve on Wednesday, August 28, 2019 1:43 AM
I really like it this blog. This blog is very important and wonderful. I appreciate your effort. I hope you will soon share your next post about this discussion. Thank you for sharing this post with us. Keep it up. High Density rubber matting
Reply to comment

Jackson on Wednesday, August 28, 2019 3:45 AM
This is really amazing and i can't keep my eyes off it. This is just fabulous. Keep on posting more articles like this in future. rubber roofing supplies in UK
Reply to comment

David Jhon on Wednesday, August 28, 2019 4:59 AM
Very good post about points Of attachment i am so happy to read this post and interested to see more good post in coming future. supplier of rubber matting in UK
Reply to comment

Jimmy on Wednesday, August 28, 2019 11:11 PM
This kind of writings are so awesome and i love reading such blogs. Your blog is very interesting and amazing. I really impressed with your written style. Sound deadening in UK
Reply to comment

how to get blizzard dragon on Tuesday, September 3, 2019 9:09 AM
Enjoy and share this simple updated 2019 Dragon City breeding guide with your friends!
Reply to comment

Frank D. Frost on Wednesday, September 11, 2019 2:05 AM
These are the essential things required by any business setups. In order to become successful, you should follow some successful business Leader like Arviv Click Here For More Information.
Reply to comment

net worth on Wednesday, September 11, 2019 9:03 PM
Thank you so much for sharing this amazing post. I read this information and get very interesting and useful information. Lead to me net worth
Reply to comment

toon blast levels on Thursday, September 19, 2019 1:30 AM
The most expensive package costs $ 25, which is a considerable amount for a mobile game. For this reason, many people are looking for tips from Toon Blast.
Reply to comment

eva on Saturday, September 21, 2019 1:24 AM
There are very informative links shared in this post that really improve my knowlege.Thanks and carry on it.cardboard pillow boxes
Reply to comment

Krisye on Sunday, December 15, 2019 12:47 PM
Just wanted to say good blog and this article helped me a lot, due to which I have found exactly I was looking. Amazon
Reply to comment

Tif on Monday, December 16, 2019 4:08 AM
Great to find this website, you have shared content which is very informative and easy ti understand.Keep sharing more similar stuff mobile on installments
Reply to comment

Nim on Monday, December 16, 2019 2:18 PM
i am so happy to read these posts.Thanks.I bookmarked this post to visit again here.Thanks best place to buy casual dresses
Reply to comment

Haz on Monday, December 16, 2019 5:19 PM
I have read many blogs but this blog is very great and cool. I am very glad to read your blog. I will come back to the website to read more similar stuff. Thanks for sharing invisible braces in Pakistan
Reply to comment

Bobby on Tuesday, December 17, 2019 10:47 AM
Such a nice and informative blog you have shared here with us. Your all blogs are so useful for every person. Keep posting more like this. super yacht rental
Reply to comment

Zoe on Wednesday, December 18, 2019 1:10 PM
Thanks for this informative post termite pest control services
Reply to comment

Useless Websites on Wednesday, February 5, 2020 10:13 PM
Points Of Attachment Useless Websites
Reply to comment

192.168.l.l on Thursday, February 13, 2020 1:40 AM
This blog is so nice to me. I will keep on coming here again and again. Visit my link as well 192.168.l.l
Reply to comment

Jigulina on Wednesday, March 11, 2020 10:48 AM
This blog has sufficient knowledge and i will benefit from your posts. Thanks and keep sharing Services & packages wedding limo rental
Reply to comment

Smith on Friday, March 13, 2020 11:25 PM
Thanks for another informative post. Where else could i get that type of information, written in such a perfect way. I will bookmark this post and i come back in future. desert safari packages
Reply to comment

Sebastian on Thursday, March 19, 2020 6:25 AM
Your blog is very effective and valuable. I really like it very much. I hope you will soon share your next post about this discussion. Thanks for sharing and keep sharing. organization management software
Reply to comment

small tattoos on Tuesday, March 31, 2020 2:03 AM
small tattoos small tattoos
Reply to comment

Rupam Aich on Tuesday, April 14, 2020 10:04 AM
Thanks for writing this blog. It is very interesting to read and at the same time it is quite helpful. In order to get best help with essay writing services in UK, hire our professional writing services now.
Reply to comment

Write My Assignment on Monday, May 4, 2020 6:04 PM
Really appreciate you sharing this blog post. Really looking forward to reading more about my papers
Reply to comment

Oliver on Saturday, May 9, 2020 6:57 AM
Your blog is great and cool. I learnt lots of form here. You article fonts is very impressive i really really like this. Keep on it keep on sharing. Affordable wrinkle remover treatment
Reply to comment

leqeen on Tuesday, May 19, 2020 9:44 AM
It is a website that holds links to other websites for you to get your videos and movies.123movis is safe to use, and is supported by different mobile devices. On 123Movies, you're not mandated to register or even sign-in to have access to your favourite movies. Just a stable internet data and constant source of electricity, 123Movies will give you the best till dawn. There are genres of movies on the website. Just push the button to the website, and enjoy yourself!
Reply to comment

Jack on Saturday, May 23, 2020 3:18 AM
This blog is very helpful for every visitor. I really impressed your written style. I will come back to the website to read your blogs. Thanks for sharing and keep sharing. Best xeomin treatment in Cherry Hill
Reply to comment

Best Electric Chainsaw on Wednesday, June 17, 2020 10:07 PM
Best Electric Chainsaw;Aw, this was a really nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to generate a top notch article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don't seem to get anything done.
Reply to comment

Alex on Thursday, June 18, 2020 7:58 AM
I read your post three times so far. The first was for content, the second was for enjoyment, the third was to analyze the structure Professional Graphic designing company in lahore
Reply to comment

James on Saturday, July 4, 2020 4:06 AM
Your blog is very interesting and amazing. I really impressed with your work. I want more similar topics about this post to increase our knowledge. Thanks for sharing and keep sharing. We provide driving lessons in Birmingham
Reply to comment

Add a Comment

Your Name:
Email Address: (Required)
Make your text bigger, bold, italic and more with HTML tags. We'll show you how.
Post Comment
Website Builder provided by  Vistaprint